Day 132 – The Reboot

I missed this journal and felt like something was missing when I didn’t complete it, so I’m back, with a renewed sense of clarity and purpose. To be honest, most of what I write here is going to be used as reference material for another blog that I am going to publish in a few months time, but I need this as a reminder and a daily tool, so here goes. 

7.50AM – WAKE UP 

Any time that I wake up before 8AM is a good day for me, especially when I feel like I definitely got enough sleep, as I did last night.

They say that if you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always had.

So today, I have to do things differently. After waking up, I head to the bathroom, use the toilet and brush my teeth, then make a cup of green tea with a small spoonful of honey. This has got to be better than black tea with sugar and milk every morning.

8.05PM – READING

I light some incense (two white sage sticks, if you’re interested), and put this background music on:

That video and several others play for most of the morning, and I feel good about it.

8.25AM – MAKE BREAKFAST

I make a three-egg-and-spinach omelette with chia seeds, the last of my paprika, some turmeric, and some pepper. I don’t really like the way omelettes taste, so adding various spices takes the edge off.

8.45AM – GRATITUDE AND MEDITATION

Whilst eating breakfast, I write out my morning gratitude list, giving thanks for my health, my home, my wealth, and my work clients, as well as the clarity of purpose that I woke up with this morning.

I then spend several minutes doing the Zhan Zhuang Qi Gong (standing pole) meditation that we learned in Tai Chi class and do occasionally.

I didn’t feel as calm and clear as I did when we did this in last night’s Tai Chi class, but I imagine that will come with time, and I still enjoyed doing it.

9.16AM – EXERCISE, SHOWER, AND MEDICATION

I do a 20 minute Tai Chi warm-up, then admittedly get a bit distracted dancing around my bedroom before and after my shower. No matter, I’m sure when I’m on my deathbed I’ll regret the times I didn’t dance rather than the times I did.

I took a shower, took my anti-depressant, and made my second cup of green tea of the day. I am planning to go to water after this.

10. 05AM – UPDATE THIS JOURNAL

I spend a while copying notes from my phone to get this journal up and running again. I might soon transfer this stuff to another blog, but for now, it’s here.

10.25AM – WRITE DOWN MY VISION AND MY PURPOSE

I have realised that the biggest difference between now and when I was running marathons and going to America, is that back then I had a vision and purpose – I wanted to move to America, and everything was centred around that.

After Stacy and I broke up and I realised that was never going to happen anymore, I lost my purpose, my vision, the one thing that consumed me, and I’ve been meandering ever since.

Today, I realise that I can supercharge my efforts to live my best life if I know what my best life actually is – what is my purpose – what am I ultimately working towards rather than a random series of unrelated goals?

I decide that no matter what, I must get this done today – it affects the rest of my life.

It actually took me all morning, but it was absolutely totally worth it. Having done that, I feel full of life, full of excitement, and I can’t wait to get started.

My plan now is to make lunch, then take a nap, both of these things will help me this afternoon. Then I am going to get some paid work done – this will help me to reach my financial goals that I have just wrote down. Then I will take a short bike ride – this will help with my health goals – an AA meeting (my spirituality – everything is dependent on this) – and then maybe time with Sam later.

Oh, this is very exciting!

12.44PM – MAKE LUNCH

Lunch is unhealthy today, that is a matter of convenience, and I am not going to kick my own ass over it. this is about making stepping stones, and today I made a very good one.

I eat lunch whilst getting my ideas together for work, then go lie down.

1.28PM – NAP

I had a good, drowsy nap, which was just what I needed today. Because of that, I am able to wake up refreshed and ready to go again.

2.43PM – WORK

I’ve got two articles and one email to get done today, which should be easy, but with a cycle ride, phone call with Sam, and a meeting to deal with, it may not be as easy as it seems.

I don’t get much work done because Sam calls, and though I’m glad to hear from her, talking to her makes me realise one thing – I am exhausted.

Because I hadn’t taken anti-depressants for a few days, I’m back in that uber-fatigue place, so I end up calling this and taking the rest of the day off.

I’m not sure what time I lie down, but eventually, I do and sleep for a long time.

6.36PM – UP AND GET READY FOR 12 STEP MEETING

I do not mind that the first day of my new life started with a lot of sleep – I’ll need the energy to really push on and pursue my goals.

I get up and get myself dressed, then it’s time to go the 12 step meeting.

7PM – LEAVE FOR MEETING

I enjoyed that today – a quick bike ride there and back which clocked up 4.90 miles, and a good meeting where I got to bask in the peace and contentment of knowing everything is going to be OK.

9.35PM – TIME WITH SAM

This is back on until I can find a reasonable way to break it back off – Sam and I are good for each other, but a romantic relationship is impossible.

Still, I enjoy the time I have with her this evening. It is most enjoyable.

Eventually, I crash and log off at 12.30PM.

REFLECTIONS ON TODAY:

I’m glad today happened, and I really do feel different now that I have a better clarity of purpose and a vision that I can use to propel myself.

This life is about making small changes that add up to big changes that add up to me achieving my life goals.

I’m not feeling this journal idea any more, but the idea of having something like it does appeal to me, and I’ll take it from there.

 

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