Day 98

It was around 11.30PM last night when I finally shut down and went to sleep. After that, I was up, but not necessarily awake, at 7.17AM this morning. I had to fight myself to get up, but once I did, I started feeling better about things. 

As always, my day started with making a three-egg-and-spinach omelette, a cup of tea, and a hot water bottle to ease my back pain. Then, I lit some incense and sat down to eat breakfast and read my book whilst this music played:

After that, I sat down to write a to-do list, and also messaged a client who has been trying to connect with me to let him know that I will be available on Skype for most of the day.

With that, I am ready to get my day underway.


I write in my gratitude journal about how grateful I am for the progress that I have made this week, and how good it is to have that faith that the universe will provide for me, simply because the universe has always provided for me, and there is never any doubt that it will continue to do so.

After that, I do the same meditation as yesterday, because I found it really helped.

My mind is terribly distracted this morning, but not with anything relevant – a collage of randomness and irrelevance that neither troubles me nor pleases me, but just simply is.

I ask that these distractions be taken away from me, just for today.


So far this morning, I have taken care of mind (reading), and spirit (gratitude and meditation), now it is time to take care of body before getting on with my work for the day.

I pour my first pint glass of water of the day and take my antidepressant, then i do two reps of the exercise I developed yesterday, some leg stretches, knee-rolls and bridges. I find that the bridges are really causing me some pain, so I will of course need to address that.

After that, I take a shower and get changed into comfy clothes ready to get this day going.


I am not booked in for core stability class at the physio department tomorrow because they are under the name of a different physiotherapist than the one who is actually teaching the class, so I am going to call and see if I can get booked in for tomorrow instead of missing a week.

It turns out that I am booked in for tomorrow after all, but just haven’t had the text message.

I also call the letting agents, and they’re coming to do a property inspection on Tuesday between two and five, so obviously that means it’s more important now that I actually get my flat all as clean and tidy as possible.


At the planning meeting on Sunday, people asked about printing off their own flyers / posters. I said I would upload them to the site. With it being unlikely that I’ll make the 12 step meeting tonight, I figure that it is important I do this now.

10.14AM – WORK

With all that taken care of, it’s finally time to get started at work.

My goals for today are to clock at least 4 hours work. I must finish at least four articles in that time, but if I can do more, even better.

Here goes.

My soundtrack today is this:

Why am I so tired today? I have barely started this work and I am exhausted.

I get one article done and keep going.

I can’t even think straight this morning, so an early nap is needed. Just to clear the cobwebs so that I can get going.


10.56AM – NAP

That was only a short nap, which gave me just enough time to realise that the main reason I’m so tired is that I’ve upped my anti-depressants back to 20MG and that made me really tired last time.

My client calls me though whilst I’m in the middle of napping, so I get up and have a chat with him, and then decide that I’m going to get a bit more work done.

I can always nap more later if I’m feeling tired again.


I get another article finished and actually feel pretty good. I’m starting to see how easy this is going to be.


I make a bowl of green beans and chicken (I need to go buy some more mixed veg) then I sit back down to get on with things.


By 2.25PM, I’ve completed all four articles for one brand, which is a weekly goal completed, but I can feel a fatigue fog coming on. I push through it as far as I can.

I get another two articles wrapped up before I start to get overwhelmed by the fog again, so I schedule in another short nap to try and blast it away.

3.09PM – NAP 2

That nap may have been two hours and twenty minutes long, but it was definitely needed. I feel so much better for that sleep, and ready to push on with things.

I wake up at 5.30PM on the dot.

I make tea and waste a few minutes just reading social media and gathering my bearings, then I get up and get on with it.


First I have to email the new client my bank details so that he can send a deposit over, then it’s back to more article writing.

I clock a total of 4 hours, 15 minutes work today. In that time, I manage to get 8 articles completely written and finished up. That gives me another weekly goal completed,

On Sunday, I set up a new article chart on my whiteboard that had 14 articles on it. After four days of work, it now looks like this:

With that done, I update my daily goal tracker chart, have to pause for a while because something really random happens.

2017-06-22 19.14.31

I get struck with a bad case of double vision, and everything seems to look just – weird.

It’s scary, and I feel dizzy and a little bit sick. I’m pretty sure it’s just that I’m over heated, so I grab a glass of water and open the windows.


I seriously need to get away from the computer for a while, so I go to make dinner instead.

I chat with Sam whilst I’m making dinner, and reason that it is just because I’m overheated that I’m feeling so weird today.


I crash on the sofa to eat dinner and work on a hobby blog on my phone for a while and actually find myself really enjoying what I’m doing.


I do some quick housework tidying the floors and straightening up. Things are starting to look normal around here again.


I’ve still got a whole tonne of photos from Manchester to go through, so I log on to take care of sorting through those whilst chatting to my friends online and listening to some great music.

I work on this for a couple of hours but have still only scratched the surface of all the pics I took. I didn’t actually realise I’d taken s many.

At 12.14AM, I head to the sofa and to sleep.


Now that I realise it is only my anti-depressants making me tired all the time, I can stop worrying and relax. Everything is going to be fine.

I’ve worked hard this week and made good progress, and that’s something I can be proud of.

There is more to do tomorrow, but for now, I can simply be happy with where I’m at.

Tomorrow is another day x


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