Day 66

After going to bed at 12.30AM, i imagine I finally fell back asleep around 1AM. I was up again at 6AM to reply to a message from Sam, and then I fell back asleep again until 8.40AM. 

I made my tea and hot water bottle because my back is especially stiff and sore today, but I did not make breakfast because the plan is to go out for lunch in a bunch of hours with my family and I know that will fill me up.

Instead, I sit down and proceed to have another violent sneezing fit. I’ve been having these daily lately, and I don’t know what the problem is.

A bit of time is wasted, as always, with catching up on Twitter and a few websites, and I kick myself because last year I gave this time over to reading a book, and I would much rather be getting back into doing that.

I can incorporate that back into my routine at a later date, today, I want to get my day off the right way with some gratitude and meditation.


I write in my gratitude journal today about how thankful I am for hindsight, and the rare moments when I can take a step back from what I’m doing, appreciate how much progress I’ve made, and get a clear end-goal in mind of where it is I am going.

Sometimes I get so bogged down in the minute detail of the day to day that I don’t appreciate that in the day to day, I am actually getting much closer to where I need to be.

With that done, I once again return to the peace and calm meditation, because I find this helps me a lot lately:

Sadly I don’t get much calm from it today, but that’s not the video’s fault, that’s because I can’t keep my mind from wandering to all the different things I’ve got to get done today in between a heavy lunch an a 12 Step meeting later.

I sit down, get my daily TDL done, and get on with it.


My friend Eleanor gave me her iPad to fix on Friday, so I have a go at it. It turns out it was just that the battery was completely drained. Nothing a good charge won’t fix.


I’m still drinking my second cup of tea because  I’m not quite awake yet, so whilst I’m doing that, I take some time to update the private blog I keep where I keep tracks on all my goals and update my progress.

It’s here where I write about how I’m making progress with my physio therapy, and also document Pearl Jam’s Vitalogy album.

This took longer than I thought it would, because I got distracted by thinking about the comparisons between Stupid Mop on Vitalogy and Revolution #9 on The Beatles’ White Album.

Then i ended up listening to Revolution 9 played backwards on Youtube


And reading this article inspired by Revolution 9 played backwards and how famous speeches sound when played backwards.

I end up feeling suitably freaked out, and am kind of glad when I’m done and can move on to the next thing.

By the way, I’m finally getting used to this small little keyboard after yesterday’s disaster.


About a week ago, I was asked to write a blog post to contribute to National Freelancers’ Day.

Originally I said yes, then forgot to reply to a follow-up email. So I do that now, confirming that I am planning to write the piece and will be doing so over the next few days.

With that done, I can go stretch my back, get showered, and get ready to go out.

Doing all that this morning may have taken some time, but it also allows me to cross a bunch of stuff off my weekly task list, which is always a good thing.


I do basic back stretches, and then shower, brush teeth, shave, and moisturize.

I iron a shirt and some smart(ish) jeans, then get dressed ready for family lunch later.

Whilst doing this, I take a picture and send it to Sam (because sometimes she asks me for pictures of myself), and I realise how fat my face is.

It makes me depressed, but the kind of depressed that actually motivates me to work harder rather than sink into a funk.


I’ve only got 45 minutes before they pick me up to go for lunch, so I use the time to set up my printer so that I can print off some meetings lists for later.

I don’t get very far though, because I realise I still need a connector for it, so I have to call Dad and ask him to bring it up for me when we go for the meal.

He will forget, but at least phoning him puts it in my memory to go and get it later.


I set myself a challenge: Can I get a whole new article planned out ready to write in the next half an hour?

Let’s find out.

Almost, but not quite.


2017-05-21 13.34.12

I know it looks like a big sloppy mess,  but that was actually delicious and very filling.

Lunch was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, just fine. I was glad to see my family, but even more glad to be back home and in the realms of normality.


I get home, mum gave me the part I needed for the printer, but it was the wrong one, so before taking the obligatory Sunday afternoon nap, I head down there to get the right bit.

I get down there just at the same time that my sister arrives. She gives me a birthday card with a £15 Amazon voucher inside and a small bag of chocolates.

I get the cable I need, Dad tells me about a job he needs me to do, then I head home, ready to lie down and shift this headache that has been troubling me all day.

2.38PM – NAP

I took one of those, long, warm, comfortable dozy naps, the type that aren’t really sleep, but are really comfortable and nice.

It was enough to shift the fog, but not the headache. It still pinches at the side of my head and aggravates me greatly.


Sam’s in one of those moods where she feels bad so has to make me feel bad right alongside her. I’m trying to do the right thing in conversation with her but I’m not letting her walk all over me nor bring me down.


This is going to be interesting because I’m the kind of person that gets very confused when trying to do double-sided printing, but I’ll get this set up anyway and see what happens.

I mess up the first attempt but think I have the hang of it, so I print off ten sheets, and then go get ready so that I can cycle down to the meeting when it’s time to do that.

This printer is literally slow as shit. It takes several minutes to print off a page, and as I write this sentence it is now 6.17PM.

At least I am all set and ready to go. I know now that I can leave the house at 6.40PM and still get to the meeting on time and have everything I need with me. So now I’ve just got another twenty minutes of these meetings lists printing out.

Whilst I’m doing all this, I’m talking to Sam, who I think just broke up with me but I’m not entirely sure. Only time will actually tell on that one.

I’ve also got Eleanor’s iPad in my bag and a birthday card for my friend Alison.

I realise that I have done good deeds today, so I can add those to the list of good deeds that I have done this year.

Whilst I’m doing that, I shamefully get round to drinking my first pint glass of water of the day.

Eventually I give up on it. I’ll take four meetings lists to the meeting with me so at least we’ve got some, and i’ll leave my printer running churning out a whole bunch more which I can use for both Friday and Sunday meeting.


I’m running late, so I just cycle the quick way, then get to the meeting and really enjoy it. I laugh, I joke, I catch up with friends. It’s all kinds of wonderful and just exactly what I needed today.

Getting back gives me a total of 4.11 miles, meaning I’ve done half my weekly target in a weekend.


I get home and let Sam know that I’m back, but she’s still in a funk, and there’s nothing I can do. I’ve been in those situations when people are so broken and reluctant to open up that you just have to give them space.

This is where I’m at right now. I let Sam know I’m here, but it’s up to her.

Instead, I get back to printing more meetings lists.


I do a little more work on that article I started earlier, just getting my thoughts and a structure together.

That means I’m three articles fully planned and ready to attack the week.

Now I need to move on and do something different.


I need to do something towards my writing goals today, but I don’t have it in me to work on writing itself. I take the easy way out today, and instead dedicate myself to spending 30 minutes to scheduling social media posts for my hobby blog, something I’ve been meaning to do properly for weeks.

Whilst I’m doing that, I drink my second pint glass of water of the day.

I make good progress on that, but then I start to get hungry, so it’s time to cook up some food, clean up, and call it a day.


I chop up a sweet potato and put it in the oven to make fries with, then get on with cleaning the kitchen.

Whilst I’m doing that, I make my third pint glass of water of the day.

I cook up some of the curry that I made last week and serve it all up, then crash on the sofa and call it a night at 11.25PM.


I think I have to face facts that my relationship with Sam is over, which is sad, but was also inevitable. I’m glad that it happened, not sad that it’s over. We had a good run, but now I’m ready to get the peace back that I think I lost with her.

I’m glad I made some progress on my weekly goals today, however, I know that I’ve got a very busy week ahead of me, and I need to be on the ball, so here goes.

Tomorrow is another day.


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