Day 42

So yeah, this is a very late one. After being just about exhausted for the last couple of days, and with no urgent work deadlines, I gave myself permission to sleep in as long as I needed to. 

It turns out “as long as I needed to” was until 11.17AM. I made tea, messaged Sam, and we spent the first hour of my day just going over things.

I suppose I’ll keep this diary posted as to whether or not we reconcile.


I’ve still got gratitude and meditation and back stretches to take care of today, but after a late start and a fight with Sam, I just want to get into something that will distract me for a while and help me settle down so that hopefully my brain isn’t racing when I come to take care of my mind and soul later.

So, with no clients to work for today, I get to work on building a new website for a side business I’ve had in mind for a while that I first talked about here on this blog on day 32.

I get some images together and set some basic headings down, but my mind is still not focused and my body feels groggy, so I figure that by doing some mind, body, and soul work, I will be in a better place to work on this website project.


I find myself a lot more at peace after something as simple as quickly writing down in a journal that I am grateful for the people in my life and spending a little bit of time meditating on loving kindness for them.

Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribevibe-attracts-tribe.jpg

I love that, and I love how perfectly true it is.


I spend about 25 minutes doing stretches, practicing White Crane Spreads Its Wings, practicing the Tai Chi 10 Step Form and going through the exercises my physio guy gave me.

Then I brush teeth, shave, shower, moisterize, dress, and take my anti-depressant, some painkillers (I’ve been hurting like crazy this week) and a vitamin tablet.

I make a delicious three-egg-and-spinach omelette and give myself a pat on the back for not self-destructing.

Normally when things go badly, such as my fight with Sam, I self-destruct and do harmful things, or at least not positive ones as a means to hide how I’m feeling. Today, I got on and did the right things and just treated this as any normal day.

I think that’s progress.


I can’t believe how much of today has already gone by, but I’ve still got things I want to do, so I sit down with my omelette and get on with it.

My soundtrack for work today is this:

I did some good work today, and built a homepage that I’m more than happy with. I also wrote my ‘About Me’ page and edited some graphics.

I’m happy with my progress so far, even if I have felt tired for most of the day.



Jen text me earlier to ask if I wanted a lift tonight. I agreed even though I normally like to cycle there, just because Jen’s a friend and it would be good to catch up.

Problem is, she didn’t tell me what time she’d be coming, so I figure it’s better to just get ready early and be prepared than start a mad scramble if she suddenly turns up.


I’ve obviously got some time left over, so I log on to Medium.

I’m pleased about the small amount of feedback that I’ve had from the article I posted about quitting smoking being harder than recovering from alcoholism.

I take the pieces of paper with the rough draft of the new article that I started writing yesterday, and I get to work on turning it into a proper piece of writing.


Whilst I was writing I was back-and-forthing with Sam, who is still mad at me and keeps asking me the same questions over and over again but not liking the honest answers I’m giving, so I don’t know what do to about that.

Fortunately, it’s not something I need to immediately deal with as Jen turns up and we head off to the meeting.

It’s a good one today, and I enjoy being there. We talk a lot about overcoming resentments and defects. I connect with people I love, and I’m happy for having gone.


It’s another night of throwing things together out the freezer, so not a healthy dinner by a long shot.


I still have a whole bunch of photos left over from when I spent New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day in London that I’ve never even looked at.

My goal for this month is to pick only the best ones, edit them only where they need editing, and upload a few to Flickr. I also took a bunch whilst i was in London to use for photography for my articles and freelance copywriting work, so they need to be dealt with appropriately.

Tonight, all I do is go through and pick which photos I want to keep and move them to a new folder. Trust me when I tell you, I took a LOT of pictures, so this takes longer than you might think.

11.12PM – SAM TIME

Sam and I have been talking a lot today and we’ve patched things up enough to at least get on tonight as we spend some time together.

I enjoyed spending time with Sam and think that it went a long way to healing our disagreement from yesterday. Eventually I find myself exhausted and falling asleep and head to bed at 1.12AM.


There are some days when you tick a lot of goals on the list, and some days when you really put the work in so that you can tick those goals off later down the line.

Today was the latter. I did not finish a lot of stuff, but I certainly made some good progress with progressing my goals, and for that I am grateful.

Tomorrow is the last day that I have to complete my monthly goals for April, so let’s see how that goes.


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