Day 28

I feel like I slept well last night, and certainly don’t remember waking up or tossing and turning or anything like that. Let’s call it a good night’s sleep. 

I wake up around 8.45AM and spend the first fifteen minutes writing a daily TDL, quickly catching up on Twitter, and making a cup of tea.

9.02AM – GRATITUDE AND MEDITATION

I can feel my gratitude journal morphing into something more, like a general positivity journal, full of affirmations, lessons learned and manifestations as well as straight forward gratitude lists.

I’m OK with that, but I’m going to continue to call it my gratitude journal simply because I know what that means and -for the sake of this journal- you (whoever you are) will know what I mean after reading for a while.

9.16AM –  UPDATES TO JOURNAL

I have to admit that there are certain parts of this journal that aren’t as up-to-date as I would like them to be, so I grab a second cup of tea and get to work.

9.49AM – BACK, MEDS, AND SHOWER

I actually need to get on live chat with a hosting company called 123-Reg, so I try to do that, but find that -as per their usual shitty customer service, I get a message that says “Sorry, all of our chat team are currently busy.”

In other words – fuck off and leave us alone.

That’s frustrating, but I’ve got health stuff to take care of anyway, so I leave that where it is for the time being and head off to take my medication, do some back stretches, and get a shower.

10.30AM – START WORK

By the time I get out of the shower I notice that 123’s live chat is working. Not only is it working, but it’s actually lightning quick, and I get through to a support operative right away.

So, I tell him my problem (basically I can’t point  a third party domain to my 123 reg website because it is currently pointing to iPage) and then put my headphones on so that I can listen for a response.

It seems that the problem is a little more complex than I thought, and will require a complete WordPress backup and transfer, but it *is* possible and it is within my skill set.

So I email my client with what they need to do, and then consider that work done for the day. I’ve got other things I need to focus on right now.

10.50AM – GET DRESSED AND DO LAUNDRY

I quickly get dressed and head to my parents to put a load of washing on.

Whilst I’m there, I use their scales to check my weight and, to my dismay,  see that I’ve actually gained weight and am now 14 stone, 2 3/4 ounces.

That’s terrible.

I decide that today I am going to have a day of clearing out all the unhealthy food in my flat (by eating it of course) – a complete binge before a proper, full on purge tomorrow. I can’t keep going like this.

11.15AM – BREAKFAST / LUNCH

Part of my “fuck it eat anything” day involves making three pieces of cheese on toast as my first meal of the day and battling a big heavy dose of depression that kicks my ass and sends me spiraling way out. I have to work hard to reign it back in and get some control over my day.

11.39AM – HOBBY BLOG

I eat my three pieces of cheese on toast whilst doing a little bit of work on the latest post for my hobby blog. Not much, just a couple of paragraphs. I’m then torn between taking a nap and getting on with cleaning the kitchen.

Ultimately, it’s the nap that wins.

12.23PM – TAKE A NAP

I allow myself as long of a nap as I need today, and end up sleeping for two good, solid hours. I wake up feeling ready to ease my way back into the day again. I feel in a good mood.

There is no more depression. I am ready for this. Let’s do it.

2.26 PM – WORK ON PORTFOLIO POSTS

I make a cup of tea, sit down at the laptop, and get started.

I only do two posts, but I spend time and enjoy them because they’re music posts about songs that I enjoyed in my childhood and I want to do some good work.

The result is two posts that total less than a thousand words, but at least I’m catching up and making up for missing out on all my blog posts during my depression phase. I’ve still got a bunch more to do before I’m fully caught up, but I’m also entirely confident that I can achieve this within the next few weeks.

4.48PM – TIDY KITCHEN

It looks a mess to me, and I’m not sure how I let it get into that state, but I do know that I’m going to put a stop to it as of now.

Apparently it wasn’t as messy as it looked, and I managed to clean it up by washing dishes, sweeping the floor, giving the floors a wipe, wiping down the counters, and taking the recycling out, all in the time it took me to listen to Pearl Jam’s Yield album.

5.48PM – PLAY PLAYSTATION GAME

I can feel a level of fatigue again, so as part of my week of rest, I give myself time to just sit back and play Legends of Wrestling for a while.

6.50PM – TEST PRINTER

Remember that printer that I picked up from my parents on Day 16? Two weeks ago? It’s been sat in the corner of my living room ever since. I need to get it out, test it, and see if it’s worth keeping or throwing out on eBay.

There’s a problem with the printer in that it only prints in pink and totally ignores black and all other colours. I’m going to have to look into that, but not now. At least now that I know what’s going on, I can research the solution and give it some serious time.

For now, I also want to try and reformat an old laptop that is also just sitting in the corner doing nothing.

It turns out I can’t get either of those working either without a few bits and pieces, so I’m going to save that for next week. For now I’m going to leave it. I think I just need a day when I dedicate myself to all this crap.

8.42PM – WALK TO THE SHOP

I’m actually planning to make a curry for tea tonight, but when i get half way t the shop, I hear from Sami that she’s home, so I realise I’m not going to have time to cook. Instead, I grab some unhealthy stuff from the shop, head back, and eat it whilst I’m spending my time with Sam.

9.25PM – SAMI TIME

I have a good catch up with Sam, just talking whilst she prepares for her DJ set and I go through a bunch of pictures from London.

I’m getting tired, but I say up just to get some time with her all the way up to just gone midnight when I get exhausted, put a wrestling show on my TV and fall asleep to it.

REFLECTIONS ON TODAY

I think today was  a wake up call in terms of my weight,. It’s time to get serious about dropping some of this weight. I can do it. I’ve done it before, it just takes effort and discipline.

I do have both of those, but I’m going to have to dig deep to find them.

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