Day 12

I slept relatively well last night, from about 1.30am til 7.43am this morning. OK,s o that’s not enough sleep, but I can nap later, and just rest easy knowing that my quality of sleep was pretty good and I feel rested enough to start my day. 

Speaking of, whilst I’m drinking my first cup of tea of the day, I take some time to fill out my gratitude journal, do my meditation, and update my weekly and monthly goals. Completing that depression article yesterday took another big goal off my list, and made me feel more confident about completing others as I move forward towards the end of March.

I’m hungry this morning, so after wasting a little more time getting distracted with various websites and simultaneously loathing myself for it, I get up and go to the kitchen to make my omelet.

8.23AM – BREAKFAST

No problems here. I make three-egg-and-spinach and get the chance to wash most of my dishes whilst that’s cooking.

I also make sure to take meds, and then come back to sit down, eat my omlet, drink a second cup of tea and get set up for my working day. Before I get too drawn into that however, I’m going to go stretch and get my Tai Chi out of the way. Here goes.

8.58AM – TAI CHI AND SHOWER

No issues, a nice, straight forward and gentle exercise session which helps clear my mind of a few things, then a hot shower, shave, brush teeth and change into comfy clothes. I’m determined to own this day.

9.41AM – WORK

Plan for today is to try and manage four solid hours of work, no matter how much I get done in that time and how distracted I get in between.

I’m going to open my other work broswer and get cracking. Here goes.

11.27AM – TAKE A WALK

After getting two articles wrapped up and delivered for one project, I decide to take a walk and clear my head for a few minutes before starting the next project.

11.56AM – BACK TO WORK

I’m really tired today and really not focused, but I need to get this stuff done. Come on Chris, you can do this.

12.24PM – TAKE A NAP

I’ve got one article finished up already, so I’m going to go take a little nap and then hit the ground running for the last two or three articles that I’ve got to write today.

2.43PM – BACK TO WORK

I get the remaining three articles finished, but it’s a struggle, because half way through, Sam phones, and because I’m such an idiot who doesn’t know how to respond to people, I make a complete fuck up of things. We have a big fight that completely ruins me, I am heartbroken and depressed and really struggle to get through the rest of the day.

6.30PM – DINNER

I really can’t be bothered to cook, so I eat a shitty oven pizza and watch a show.

7.35PM – WORK ON HOBBY BLOG

I’m just keeping going with this, but it’s hard. I feel like crawling out of my skin and having a panic attack.  I get a little bit done, then it’s time to play Second Life and do my online DJ set.

9.30PM – SECOND LIFE

I use this game as an escape, plus it’s a good way to connect with Sam when we can’t be together. Tonight I’m doing an online DJ set, so I get set up and do that.

Listening to some of my favourite music and interacting with others -even if its only via computer- helps. Sam isn’t here because her computer broke and she’s out getting a new one.

I finish at midnight and go to bed some time after 1.30AM

REFLECTIONS ON TODAY

This was just a truly horrible day and I felt like shit for most of it. Here’s hoping my spirits will be lifted tomorrow.

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