Day 11

I slept long and hard last night and woke up late, around 10am, but feeling well rest ed and like I’d finally got the sleep that I needed. 

It’s not only the start of deadline week for me at work, but also the day Dad is planning to come round and help me with the broken light in the kitchen, so by virtue priorities have to change.

Work has to take priority, but today getting my kitchen and flat straight ready for Dad coming round has to be my number one job. After that, I have four and half days to write at least seventeen articles, plus the four that Albert just sent me this morning, so what, 22 articles in 4 days?

OK, this can still be achieved. I just have to prioritise and focus. Prioritise and focus. Prioritise and focus.

To keep me on track, I use the white board to write down all the projects I have to write for this week, I will cross them off as I go down.

2017-03-27 10.37.13

10.34AM – BUY MILK AND SUGAR

By this point, I’ve already done my morning gratitude and meditation and drunk half a cup of tea, but I’m almost out of milk and definitely out of sugar, so I run over the road and get those, then come back to tackle sorting out my fridges.

10.44AM – CLEAN FRIDGE

I stick Pearl Jam’s Riot Act album on, realise I’ve misplaced my mobile phone, spend ten minutes looking for it, and then finally get to work on cleaning the fridge once I found it.

That turned into a complete fucking disaster, and made me mad and sad and frustrated. How can a simple thing like cleaning a fridge out and moving all the good from one fridge to another turn into such a fucking mess?

I don’t know, but it did with me, it turned my kitchen temporarily into chaos and I felt trapped and claustrophobic, like at one point I felt as if the whole kitchen was going to collapse in on me and I felt like crying.

I made sure to take my meds to, and call the doctor’s 14 times just to try and get through and get an update on the prescription request I emailed about last week. I don’t get through.

12 NOON – BREAKFAST AND CALL THE DOCS AGAIN

I’ve just about finished cleaning the kitchen when I realise that I’m actually starving, so I make a three-egg-and-spinach omlette then sit down to eat it whilst simultaneously writing this journal and trying to get through to the doctors. I get through on my 19th phone call, to be told that yes my prescription is ready. It would have been useful if they’d let m e know that. So, there’s my exercise and physical health goal for the day – riding to the doctor’s to pick up my prescription. I will do that next, because I need those meds because I will go insane and my mental health will deteriorate without them.

12.32PM – BIKE RIDE TO PICK UP MEDS

That last half an hour was wasted with me just looking at the internet and wasting time, but now is the time for me to get off my ass and motivate. Hopefully the adrenaline of being on the bike and the warm weather will help lift my spirits.

Sam, I love you and I miss you dearly.

I cycle 2.74 miles on a round-trip to the doctors and back, buy my prescription from the pharmacy, and lazily walk around Morrisons’ in a daze for five minutes without paying for him. Nothing helps. I get home and my mood is still low, and I’m not sure what I can do to change it today.

13.23PM – WORK

I will shower and stuff later, for now I need to at least make an effort with work. Here goes.

Work goes mostly fine today. I’m a little distracted, but I think knowing how late I left it to actually start is a big kick up the ass for me, and I power forward with as much focus as I can muster.

I get the Amsterdam project finished, proofed, and delivered, and then take the back off the Pacific project, focusing on the two articles that I haven’t yet planned out.  A phone call from Sam mid-way through the day interupts me, but I get all three articles wrapped up in three hours, 18 minutes.

I update the noticeboard from this morning

2017-03-27 22.06.41

5.44pM – TIME WITH SAM

When I’m done, I enjoy some quality time with Sam right up until late in the evening. Around 9pm, she has to run out to take care of a few things for her family, so I take the time to do some writing.

9PM – FINISHING THE DEPRESSION ARTICLE

I started this yesterday with a bit of planning earlier in the week/weekend, so Sam being away gives me the time to get it wrapped up.

That goes without a problem, and I’m fairly happy with the finished article. It’s here – https://medium.com/@cskoyles/im-sorry-but-your-logic-won-t-help-my-depression-70da6ff2a72e 

10.22PM – WORK ON HOBBY BLOG

I know I don’t have much time left before Sam gets home, certainly no more than an hour, tops, but I do know that until she does, I’m going to make the best of my time, so I flick open my hobby blog and get to work on it, getting another few paragraphs done to ease the burden of the week.

11.05PM – MORE TIME WITH SAM

Sammi gets back, so that means I close everything downa nd spend as much time as I can with her before I fall asleep.

REFLECTIONS ON TODAY

Today got better as it went on,  but there was certainly a lot of frustration, despondency, and low energy earlier this morning. I’m grateful that Sam was there to help lift me out of my funk, and I’m grateful that I was able to keep going regardless and actually get some stuff done.

Tomorrow, the fight is on to get as much work accomplished as I possibly can. Here goes.

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